She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just sucked dick on a ferry
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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