I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
