can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You were trust falling into bushes
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
