so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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