I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
