youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
