you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
