So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
