is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
where am i from again
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
