I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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