New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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