**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
