so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
