I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
