If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
