That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
