and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
