Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
