Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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