if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
