i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm both gender and math confused
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