Pants 0. Shit 1.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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