You're my little dorito
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
