I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
