I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
