Just cropdusted the office
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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