I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
