I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
