Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
