She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
