I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
