Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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