You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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