Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
