After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
