this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
