Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
