Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
