only you would photoshop your dick
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
