No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
