turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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