Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
