her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
