Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
