therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
