i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
