put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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