He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
