Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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