then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
