I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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