so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
